Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
