i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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