he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
