do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
