I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
