k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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