Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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