I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
