Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
