Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
