I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
