You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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