I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
