in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
