Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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