He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
