whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
