Don't you send me to vm
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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