my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I wish i was in the wii world.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
high people should be assigned attendants
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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