Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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