the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
organizing the empties. That sober.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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