don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
