eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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