I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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