You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
