wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
