you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
