my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
