kristin has been a bad kristin
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
