It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
