You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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