Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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