She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
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