I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
