toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
