I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
