if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
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