no one should ever give us hovercrafts
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
