HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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