On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
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