So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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