In America we eat man semen.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
