Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
