just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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