Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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