So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
