it hurts more in the daytime
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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