after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
