yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
