READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
