I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Did I show you my penis last night?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
